Why I'm No Longer Vegan

As many of you know, I went vegan in January of 2015. The reason I went vegan, was because I was so convinced that eating any type of animal product was deadly to consume. That you would eventually get super sick and could acquire terrible diseases. Not to mention how poorly the animals can be treated.

What I didn't realize, is I was turning away from my inner self. I wasn't listening to my body at all. I was listening to external resources and claiming them to be true for me. My body rejected my new diet and I continued to ignore myself. Being skinny, looking fit and being attractive is what consumed my thoughts. I was on a path of self destruction, trying to "perfect" every part of my body. Nothing was enough. I became scared of what I was eating for fear of how it would make me look, instead of how it made me feel.

I wanted meat and eggs randomly here and there, and wouldn't allow myself to. I was so strict and hard on myself, and neglected what my body really wanted, to feel good. So, I began eating eggs, cheese, and meat on occasion. And I've got to say, I feel good. I feel better, I feel more in tune with what my body wants, opposed to what I THINK it wants. I'm learning how to listen, learning how to pay attention to how food makes me feel. Eating what makes me feel good and staying away from what doesn't.

This strikes a lot of questions in me...what are my motives with the way I behave? Am I doing things because I've been told to in my past? Or doing them because I genuinely want too. Am I living the life I want to live? Or living a life I believe others think I should. It's hard being able to pay attention to what I'm doing and if it's something true to me or not. 

I write this post with no fear. I do not have any shame in eating animal products again. Mind you, I eat organic and as fresh and local as possible. I believe everyone's body is different, and everyone wants and desires different things. But I want this post to invoke some sort of curiosity within you. Why are you neglecting yourself things your truly want? Why do you do things you really don't want to do? Are you doing what you want? Or what you think others want you to do. Are you living your life for you? Or for the approval of others. Are you happy? Or pretending to be. Why do you act the way you do? Why do you get frustrated and annoyed at other people? Maybe it's because they are your reflection, your lesson. You dislike how others behave, because you have that same quality within yourself. 

It's a time of practicing self awareness, and forgiveness. Owning our vibration and our actions. Owning who we are and finally allowing ourselves to start having what we want. I believe this is the most wonderful time to be alive. We are finally finding the strength to set ourselves free of our own limiting beliefs. 

I'm feeling the magic of this oncoming full moon, can you?